Watching his new family taking photos was a new feeling for me. While they included me and my son, its his wedding we are sort of important, it was still something so brand new - I was at a loss of words.
I sat there, with my son not far behind me, as we watched his wife and in laws fight for whose pose they will do next for the camera. I can’t help but smile. She has seen love. She has had good role models. I look at my son smiling at them and I am again at a loss of words. “Go ahead,” I say while turning back at the pose number two of the Loved family, “you can leave me behind. Go ahead, I won’t be upset if you leave me behind. If they have so much love to share, I want you to have every part of it. Somewhere life was unfair to both of us, but you kore than me.” I finish while still staring at the next pose. “Why do you always get so emotional, I love you mom I am not going anywhere. We all are together not in pieces. You know she loves you a lot?”, my son thinks I need reassurance. She. He was right, the aforementioned she, his wife; did love me and we did get along. She is kind and right for him. I wonder how she saw what I see in him. He is so special, she nourishes him well. “I don’t need your pity or assurance,” I try to sound harsh, “I am independent and I need my space so it is better if you just sort of hang out with them from now on…”, I don’t have a lot of time anyway.
“First of all, you are my mother, you are going nowhere from my life. Number two, your daughter-in-law is extremely similar to you when in comes to be being crazy so subsection two point one she isn’t going to let you go anywhere whether you like it or not ans subsection two point two I need help navigating - (he points at her vaguely) THAT!”, before he can finish she pulls him in for some couple shots.
He does look very happy with her. They will be able to carry on her parents legacy. I am glad I dint give them mine. Their kids will grow up with both parents. They will have four hands instead of one to support them. They will sing and dance and love in front of their children. Those kids will grow up knowing, watching and being loved. I am so sorry my children, I wish we had better fortune, maybe in next life. Maybe another way…
My son interrupts my thoughts and I wipe my tear away quickly, “Thirdly, and most importantly, you are my mother, you will always give me the most amount of happiness with your smile. As she says you do have a good one!”, “Ha!” I continue, “She truly is very smooth with those compliments.”
We click a family photo all of us together and all I think to myself is -
Maybe this is the way, it is late by a few decades, but we all can be loved this way. Finally with people who have been loved…